"Marriage should be honoured by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral." Hebrews 13:4
"I can't keep up with this anymore. No sex, no touches, no kissing, nothing. All you want is that we talk. I am a man, Ire, and I have wants and needs," Paul says, pacing up and down. I am in his house now and when he tried to kiss me and I push him off, he got angry and started pacing.
"I have decided and made a promise to keep myself for my husband and when I finally decide to have sex, it will be when we might have wedded," I say boldly and if you ask me, I do not know where the strength comes from.
"I am tired of this, Ire. You are talking as if we were not having sex before now. You are pressing my buttons, sister and soon, I will explode. Don't get surprised when I decide not to marry you again," he says without blinking.
I feel myself close to tears. This is not the Paul I know, not the one I said yes to. The one I gave my all to, yet he has come back to stab me in the back.
"What will people say about us Paul, when they know about what we are doing? Drama Coordinator, you should be ashamed of what you do, the sinful acts you participate in, the lies you make up when you pretend to speak in tongues," I say, fuming. I am already up my feet.
He slaps me, hard.
"You think I forgot what you did? You disgraced me, Ire. You virtually pushed my ego down the drain. And I would not accept you coming into my house and being disrespectful to me. I cannot marry a woman who will disrespect me. But I will marry you cos which man out there will marry you? You're not as holy as you claim to be. You have been defiled", he says, a smirk appearing on his face.
"I do not need your pity, Paul. In fact, I quit this relationship. If you are insulting me and abusing me now like this, what will happen when we are married? You may turn me into a punching bag. And judging by the way you had sex with me before marriage, I do not think you will ever be faithful in marriage. Paul, I quit!!" I scream at him before picking up my bag.
"Was just waiting for this moment. Now I am really happy" is the last words I hear before banging the door. I walk to my car sobbing. I do not remember the last time I walked out of his house happy. I remember his smiling face and I want to puke. I begin to drive, tears clouding my vision. I have been driving for thirty minutes with tears in my eyes. I am about to turn to my junction when I hear a loud bang. I hit my head on my steering wheel and I hear people shouting. "Is this going to be the end?" I ask myself as I feel warm blood drip down my head before I fall into darkness and complete silence.
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"Doctor, please do you know when she will wake up?" I hear someone ask.
Doctor? Where am I? I ask my self as I try to open my eyes, but I shut it back with a hiss. Is that not Pastor Fola's voice? Why does he sound worried?
I open my eyes again and I let my eyes adjust to the light. Then someone appears in front of me. "Mum, what are you doing here?" "Aaaaah, Omo mi oooo, O ti ji oooo, Doctor (My child has woken up, Doctor). My mum screams, running out of the room probably to call the doctor. I look to my side and see Pastor Fola smiling, dimples appearing on his cheeks. His dimples are cute though.
"Pastor, what is happening?" I ask. "Thank God you are awake. Well, someone who happened to be passing when the accident happened found your phone and called me. Guess I was the last person you spoke to"
"Accident?" I ask myself as I try hard to recollect what happened. It begins to come slowly and when I finally remember everything that happened, i break down and weep. Pastor doesn't ask what happened to me but he calms me down as he speaks in tongues and says different verses from the bible calmly.
I stop crying after a time and I finally have the strength to speak. "Pastor, I broke up with him," I tell him and he looks at me to continue. "And he sounded happy to know I was breaking up with him." "What exactly happened?" Pastor asks and I explain. When I finish, I am close to tears again.
"Well, let us keep hoping and praying about what will happen but in the main time, keep asking God to reveal what exactly He wants you to do cos it's always His will we should keep up with. Whatever is for you will always be for you, once it's Gods will. And always remember that the plans God has for you are for good and not of evil to give you a bright future and an expected end," he tells me and then he prays for me.
"How do you know God is speaking and how are you sure He's the one? I ask after he finished praying with me.The doctor has come to check me and my mum is calm now waiting outside for me to finish talking with Pastor Fola.
"Well, you begin to hear God when you have a close relationship with Him. God speaks to us in different ways but we may not know it's God because we do not know His voice yet, cos our relationship with Him is not a close one".
"God desires a very close relationship with you and what you just have to do is to open up your heart to Him. And then when you sense God is speaking to you, through any means, make sure you align it with the Word of God cos God's word remains the same even when heaven and earth pass away. God can speak through circumstances, prayers, Bible and the church and don't say because God spoke to this person this way, that's the same way He must speak to me. He desires a unique relationship with each of us so the way He speaks to each of us may be in diverse forms".
I nod as I listen what He's saying. "How does God speak to you pastor?"
"Well God speaks to me through His Word and through dreams though when I dream, I pray and ensure it's in line with God's word before I take any action..."
"Thanks Pastor," I say feeling really thankful.
"Always my pleasure...sometimes, all we need is a friend. So, sister F'Ire, would you like to be my friend?" Pastor Fola asks smiling.
I am shocked. Me? Pastor's friend? "Okay Pastor, I'll love to be your friend," I reply smiling back.
"You can call me Fola, you know?" Pastor says and I laugh.
"I may, when I get used to it. But for now, please let me call you pastor Fola," I say smiling.
"Alright then," he replies before patting my hands and walking out.
"My daughter, how are you?" My mum asks as she sits on the chair.
"I am fine, ma. Just that I have a terrible headache," I reply.
"Eyah, Omo mi, don't worry it's because of the way your head hit the steering wheel. You will be well soon eh," she says smiling. I smile back at her.
Pondering on what Pastor Fola said, I decide to seek God fully and ask His will be done in my relationship with Paul but above that, I want to love God with all my heart. I want to hear from God. Yes, I speak in tongues sometimes but, I desire a deeper relationship with God. I want God to be my best friend. The one I can tell anything and everything to. I pray right there in the hospital asking God to reveal Himself to me and make me His best friend cos I want to be His and only His. Paul or no Paul, I decide that I will seek God and love God as He has loved me.
To be continued...
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